my children my world and me

 

14 May 1974

14th May 1974 
I was blessed with a mother and father who are uncomparable 
true 
love 
does 
exist
 but only in the unconditional love a parent has for their child

Hanya x 

crazy living - today

Living in reality

your heart is dreaming

your head is spinning 

you feel like pausing for one second

just a second to reflect on your life

its purpose

its goals

its past

what to do when your heart stops

and your own self made reality hits you hard

an oncoming bus with no brakes

you have no where to run but to face it full on

Hanya

Potato Salad

So there I am preparing dinner with the menu of Quiche, steamed vegetables and Potato Salad - hit a raw nerve - not the whole menu just part of it - I stop to think - regain my train of thought and ponder on whether to use red onion or spring onion and then resume chopping and adding. I am aware that I will have these moments but then they will pass and I will recollect my thoughts and continue on making dinner!

Hanya

Impossible - Love this too much

Warren House

Sitting on the corner of a main road, vacant, Warren House was calling out to me. I was not looking to buy so the For Sale board jutting out of the ground was teasing me gently. The vintage-ness seemed to be running through each and every angle of this house and my heartstrings were being tugged silently by the wooden framed doorway.

Driving by one day my eye caught the To Let board which made things possible and I left my own house to reside in this quaint and very old build. I am afraid to say that in my readiness to adopt this old and dilapidated property (which possesses a damp cellar) I lost sight sight of all practicalities and followed my heart. I am now residing in Warren House - this large cold house that is crying out for some tender loving care has become my dwelling.

My love for this house has not been lost but I am certainly not in love with it as much as I thought I would be. I am still totally in awe of it and have dreams to cherish and hold on to it it but my purse strings do not feel the same, they are so stretched that this old cold and beautiful house would bankrupt me further if I chose to make it my own for life. Sometimes you have to just let go - it is hard and I still don't want to - I feel let down by my love for Warren House - I feel that Warren House has betrayed me - sombre and silently - it has not met my expectations.

Stawberry Picking x

ice

the voice of cold

the shiver of delight

brings forth the frost

and an icy quiet

go find one else to chill

for the heat hither

will melt you

will scald you

will burn you

cold you may be

frosty you may seem

but fire will always burn

the coldest of things

I will always win

always

hanya

Impossible - Love this

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love

I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worse
Broken trust and broken hearts

I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear

I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken

All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love

I did